Trevor Robinson and Jack Nehlig share practical advice for leaders seeking to deliver feedback that inspires growth instead of discouragement. This episode highlights why private conversations matter, provides a clear step-by-step template for feedback, and emphasizes how demonstrating care and support can make all the difference for your team.
Why Private, Direct Conversations Are Essential
Jack Nehlig points out that feedback is most effective when given one-on-one, rather than in front of others. He stresses, "The first and foremost rule in doing all this feedback is it should be in private, right? Just head on and in private." This protects the individual's dignity, helps prevent embarrassment, and creates an environment of trust. Jack makes it clear that difficult conversations are best handled face-to-face when possible, ensuring honest communication without outside distractions. He distinguishes between addressing problematic behavior and positive feedback, noting it's especially critical to use private meetings for the former. According to Jack, public correction can lead to defensiveness and shutdown, while private, respectful conversation helps employees stay open to change.
Using a Simple, Actionable Template for Feedback
Both hosts agree—having a clear structure can take the anxiety out of giving feedback. Jack outlines his go-to template: (1) describe what happened, (2) share how it made you or others feel, (3) suggest alternatives or improvements. He explains, "You tell them first of all what you saw, what it was, what was the specific thing that happened. You then tell them how it makes you feel … and then the third step is you recommend a change in action by saying what you think they should do instead." Jack emphasizes that feedback is more effective when it offers explicit actions for improvement, not just criticism. Trevor adds that this template keeps the conversation solution-focused and reinforces the idea that the leader is invested in their colleague's growth.
Showing Care and Commitment to Build Motivation
Jack highlights that feedback sticks best when it's clear the giver genuinely cares. "If you deliver it so that you care, or if they feel like you care and you should care, then that raises the stick rate that they're going to actually do something about it," Jack notes. At the end of feedback sessions, Jack reassures team members with encouragement and offers to help further, rather than leaving them feeling chastised or alone. Trevor reflects on his personal experiences with Jack, saying, "Your name will pop up. I was always happy to answer it. I never felt like I'm going to get screamed at here. I'm going to leave this call in a bad mood. And I think that says a lot." This supportive approach fosters trust and openness, leaving employees motivated rather than fearful or disengaged.
Key Quote From The Episode
"If you want feedback to stick or land, if you deliver it so that you care, or if they feel like you care and you should care, then that raises the stick rate that they're going to actually do something about it because they believe you're doing it to help them as opposed to you're doing it to criticize them." – Jack Nehlig
Key Takeaways
- 03:24] Deliver feedback privately, never in public forums.
- 04:06] Use a simple structure: what happened, the effect, and what to do instead.
- 05:18] Show care and offer help, reinforcing your belief that team members can grow.
Wrap Up
Giving feedback that motivates rather than discourages is a skill every leader can develop. By keeping feedback private, using a reliable template, and showing real care for team members, leaders build stronger, more positive teams. Try scheduling one-on-one feedback sessions, focus on specificity, and finish with encouragement—these steps can help your feedback land well and support ongoing growth.